What a mess I am, that a child's movie upsets me, but I guess the adult version (Its A Wonderful Life) would, too, at this point. Since men wishing they had never been born due to the pressures of having a family to provide for and life becoming "routine" has been a movie topic since at least 1946, then it must have been a societal issue for at least that long, but its just become one for me. I used to laugh at my mom crying while she watched Its A Wonderful Life, but I almost cried watching Shrek Forever After and that is so much sadder in my opinion. I mean, who cries at a cartoon?
I guess we all come to a point in our life when we wonder why and how people could do what they do. And I'm there now. I wonder why anyone would ever abandon their children and how they could walk away and never look back. I wonder how long greener pastures seem greener and how they could seem greener when you have to leave what is yours behind to try to take something you've already given up.
I'm sad, but that's nothing compared to what my children feel. In their eyes, even if he was an ugly color, he's a color that's no longer in their world and its a empty spot. And anything that reminds them of that color has the capability to make them sad. And I can't do anything to fix it. I never wanted this to happen and I don't ever want him back in my life, but I wish he was in theirs because at least then they would not have that lack.
I know God is omniscient and I know he loves me and my children and wants what's best for us. So I know there is a reason for him to be gone from their lives. But its still hard. And apparently makes me apt to cry at cartoons.
My PSA for today goes out to all males. Please do not start a family unless you want it for the rest of your life. Please do not give up when it gets tedious and routine and stressful and hard. If you do anything for an extended period of time, there will be hard times and if you give up, you miss out on all the good times that will come when you get through the hard times. And you leave your family vulnerable and hurting while you chase elusive and nonexistent greener pastures. And one day you may regret it. Bottom line -- this ain't no fairy tale. You don't get 24 hours to do what you will and then you can change your mind and say the magic words and its like it never happened. There will be pivotal moments in your lives and your decisions at that point will not just affect you, but everyone around you. If you have a family who loves you, good friends, a good job and a promising future, please do not abandon that. Please do not quit. Please. The world needs more men that stick around, not more little boys that chase their own selfish whims. Thanks to all the males who are men. This world does not have enough men. And way too many boys that refuse to grow up.
Stepping off my soap box now. Have a lovely day :)
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Beth, this blog's for you :)
Happy birthday, Beth. I am very happy that you reminded me to blog as its something that constantly slips my mind. I am flattered that you like to read it so much you would ask me to blog on your birthday, so here I am. . . 24 minutes of your birthday remaining. I hope you got your license.
Did you know that I didn't get my license until I was 18. Actually, I was almost 19, had already graduated high school. It was the May or June before the September I turned 19. I was SOOOO not ready. I hope if you got your license that you are ready. And don't drive when you're mad. Pull off the road and scream or slam the door or do whatever it takes to stop being mad, but don't drive mad. That's how my mom's explorer died. Sorry Mom.
If I was to give you a piece of advice for your birthday, Beth, it would be this: Live purposefully. I know that sounds simple and maybe even silly, but I regret the time I wasted coasting through life. Not that I'm saying you coast through life, but if you do, don't ;). Think about what you are doing. Research before you make decisions. Live a life that you will not regret when you are older. Learn about yourself, your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses. Love yourself so that you can better love others. Even though the world does not consider you to be an adult yet, your present determines the path your future takes. I hope you have had a fantastic birthday and I pray you have many wonderful future birthdays ahead of you.
Did you know that I didn't get my license until I was 18. Actually, I was almost 19, had already graduated high school. It was the May or June before the September I turned 19. I was SOOOO not ready. I hope if you got your license that you are ready. And don't drive when you're mad. Pull off the road and scream or slam the door or do whatever it takes to stop being mad, but don't drive mad. That's how my mom's explorer died. Sorry Mom.
If I was to give you a piece of advice for your birthday, Beth, it would be this: Live purposefully. I know that sounds simple and maybe even silly, but I regret the time I wasted coasting through life. Not that I'm saying you coast through life, but if you do, don't ;). Think about what you are doing. Research before you make decisions. Live a life that you will not regret when you are older. Learn about yourself, your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses. Love yourself so that you can better love others. Even though the world does not consider you to be an adult yet, your present determines the path your future takes. I hope you have had a fantastic birthday and I pray you have many wonderful future birthdays ahead of you.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Mason family update
Well, it has been an active month here, not that you can tell from my blog posts. We spent the first part of the month getting ready to go visit Joey for his Army Basic Combat Training graduation. We left on the 21st much later than we had intended on leaving then got back on the 24th much later than we intended on getting back. The time we got to spend with Joey was infinately precious, but the traveling was not so much LOL. The past week has been spent for the most part getting my house back in order from the trip. I cleaned it before we left, but had to catch up on laundry, etc. I am happy to say that I am finally caught up and am hoping to be able to post more. I know I keep saying that. And I keep hoping it. Somehow it just doesn't happen as often as I would like. But I'm doing the best I can.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Loving Every Minute of it
Recently, I was given an opportunity to visit my extended family in Mobile. We live about 8 hours from there and don't find the time to visit nearly often enough. While we were there, my uncle commented on how happy I was to be a stay at home mom. Now I can totally understand his surprise. I mean, I was the girl who wasn't going to have any kids because of my childhood, so the fact that I have 3 daughters in itself is probably a surprise to many people. And the idea of me being happy as a stay at home mom would probably be just shy of inconceivable.
Not that I feel the need to explain myself to people I haven't seen in years, but I did feel like explaining myself and my parenting "just because".
First of all, I am not a perfect mom. I get frustrated, impatient, angry, sad, lonely, depressed, bored, any and all feelings that adults who are not parents feel toward other people's kids, I have felt toward mine at least once. In fact, the other day I joined a contest in someone else's blog. The question was "In what activity would you like a lesson from an expert?" and my answer was that I would like a lesson from an expert in gently but effectively disciplining my children. I've tried spanking, the supernanny approach of time out for everything, naptime, I'm embarrassed to say I sometimes even find myself yelling (the spanking of today). . . I know not all children can be disciplined the same and not all situations call for the same type of discipline, so maybe what I *really* need is a lesson from an expert in patience or better understanding my kids. . . but that's what I'd like a lesson in.
I'm not proud of my intermittent lack of effectiveness, but I am honest enough to admit it. There are days when I would be happy and willing to go back to work despite the astronomical amount I'd have to pay for childare. The important thing is that I muscle through those times and make it through to the other side.
What keeps me going and keeps me sane and even happy being a stay at home mom is the little things -- the way Evie always comes to me to get a kiss whenever she stubs her toe (and sometimes she makes up stubbing a toe just so she can have a kiss LOL), playing games with the girls, reading to them -- the times when we have peaceful moments, when we are all cooperating and getting along. The smell of Izzy's hair. The varying expressions of each of their faces. The intelligent insights Addy spouts at times. The hugs, the kisses, the snuggles, the love. The times we are all traveling in the car and the kids drive us so crazy Joey and I just bust out laughing. The minutes that I would miss if they were in childcare are what keep me going when I'm at my wits and nerves end.
And I am getting better. Its a constant process. An ever changing process. The most important thing to my sanity is constantly reminding myself that they are children, that time is fleeting and life is unpredictable. I have to be more flexible. Its easy to expect today to be like yesterday, to expect something that worked before to work again, but in reality, that's not always the case. I have to remember that we are all evolving. They are learning and developing and changing as people just as I am learning, developing and changing as a mother. It is a constant process and even if today is bad, tomorrow could be better or it could be worse.
Regardless of what tomorrow brings, I have been blessed by God with 3 beautiful, intelligent, healthy, happy, creative, sweet, saucy, loving daughters. I am making every effort to enjoy every minute I have with them because we are not guaranteed another moment. We all have our time lines set, we are each alloted a specific amount of time here and none of us know how long that will be. I am making every effort to be a better mom tomorrow than I am today because not only is this my God given responsibility, but it is also the "job" I have chosen for myself and I want to do the best "job" I possibly can. Not just because I am an over-achiever, but also because I know the quality of job I do will affect them for the rest of their lives. I love them more than I ever imagined it possible to love another person and I want to have a positive impact on their lives.
Yes, I'm an over-achieving, slightly neurotic mom of 3, just doing my best to do my best. Its not the funnest job imaginable, but its the most rewarding and most challenging and the best job for me.
Not that I feel the need to explain myself to people I haven't seen in years, but I did feel like explaining myself and my parenting "just because".
First of all, I am not a perfect mom. I get frustrated, impatient, angry, sad, lonely, depressed, bored, any and all feelings that adults who are not parents feel toward other people's kids, I have felt toward mine at least once. In fact, the other day I joined a contest in someone else's blog. The question was "In what activity would you like a lesson from an expert?" and my answer was that I would like a lesson from an expert in gently but effectively disciplining my children. I've tried spanking, the supernanny approach of time out for everything, naptime, I'm embarrassed to say I sometimes even find myself yelling (the spanking of today). . . I know not all children can be disciplined the same and not all situations call for the same type of discipline, so maybe what I *really* need is a lesson from an expert in patience or better understanding my kids. . . but that's what I'd like a lesson in.
I'm not proud of my intermittent lack of effectiveness, but I am honest enough to admit it. There are days when I would be happy and willing to go back to work despite the astronomical amount I'd have to pay for childare. The important thing is that I muscle through those times and make it through to the other side.
What keeps me going and keeps me sane and even happy being a stay at home mom is the little things -- the way Evie always comes to me to get a kiss whenever she stubs her toe (and sometimes she makes up stubbing a toe just so she can have a kiss LOL), playing games with the girls, reading to them -- the times when we have peaceful moments, when we are all cooperating and getting along. The smell of Izzy's hair. The varying expressions of each of their faces. The intelligent insights Addy spouts at times. The hugs, the kisses, the snuggles, the love. The times we are all traveling in the car and the kids drive us so crazy Joey and I just bust out laughing. The minutes that I would miss if they were in childcare are what keep me going when I'm at my wits and nerves end.
And I am getting better. Its a constant process. An ever changing process. The most important thing to my sanity is constantly reminding myself that they are children, that time is fleeting and life is unpredictable. I have to be more flexible. Its easy to expect today to be like yesterday, to expect something that worked before to work again, but in reality, that's not always the case. I have to remember that we are all evolving. They are learning and developing and changing as people just as I am learning, developing and changing as a mother. It is a constant process and even if today is bad, tomorrow could be better or it could be worse.
Regardless of what tomorrow brings, I have been blessed by God with 3 beautiful, intelligent, healthy, happy, creative, sweet, saucy, loving daughters. I am making every effort to enjoy every minute I have with them because we are not guaranteed another moment. We all have our time lines set, we are each alloted a specific amount of time here and none of us know how long that will be. I am making every effort to be a better mom tomorrow than I am today because not only is this my God given responsibility, but it is also the "job" I have chosen for myself and I want to do the best "job" I possibly can. Not just because I am an over-achiever, but also because I know the quality of job I do will affect them for the rest of their lives. I love them more than I ever imagined it possible to love another person and I want to have a positive impact on their lives.
Yes, I'm an over-achieving, slightly neurotic mom of 3, just doing my best to do my best. Its not the funnest job imaginable, but its the most rewarding and most challenging and the best job for me.
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