Thursday, December 29, 2011

The truth about boobs and other things

In case I haven't done it before, I am about to reveal myself to be a universallist. Now, I am not entirely sure that is a real word because my lovely iPhone wishes to change it into "universal list" so I should probably explain that term. I believe right is right and wrong is wrong, lovely is lovely and ugly is ugly, black is black and white is white and shades of grey are just our attempts to justify doing what we know we really shouldn't be doing anyways.

But what does this have to do with boobs, you might ask. Well, it strikes me as quite hypocritical that boobs are considered lovely when shoved in a way too small bikini, but stick a nipple in a baby's mouth and boobs can make you not only lose your appetite -- those nasty knockers are apparently gross enough to make you lose your desire to continue grocery shopping. So I guess seeing a baby eat is powerfully gross enough to make you never want to eat again. That sounds pretty weird to me, so if you are as confused as I am, you'll have to ask eligible race car driving bachelor Kasey Kayne to explain the logic behind it.

I wonder if anyone bothered to ask Mr. Kayne his opinion on boobs in bikinis or topless beaches. Or topless bars for that matter. I bet it doesn't jive with his opinion of them while breastfeeding.

The funny thing is, while God does intend a woman's body to be pleasing to the eye, I'm fairly certain that their practical purpose was to nourish babies. I guess that shows us how backwards this world is -- that boobs are prized for their aesthetical properties while being vilified for fulfilling their intended function.


  1. I so totally agree with you!! I am so glad I have made it to 5 months with Heidi and I can't wait to make it to 6 and then 12 and so on and so forth. I pray that my milk stays in even if I start working.

  2. And let's not forget to mention how pervy and creepy it is to follow someone around a grocery store, commenting on how much of which boob is showing. If its so disgusting, then do yourself a favor, put on your big boy panties and look the other way. Don't follow the responsible mom, who is doing the right thing feeding her baby when (s)he is hungry, around the store creeping her out and making her feel uncomfortable just so you can tweet about something unrelated to racing. On one hand, I hope the mom didn't even notice you. On the other, I hope she did and comes out in the media and makes you feel like the jerk you were being.