Sunday, July 3, 2011

The pizza is good.

Its funny how, when you are mourning, which often happens on unintended journeys, the stupidest things can make you sad. Like pizza. Wo gets sad about pizza? Its cheesy and its yummy. . . Its a comfort food. . . and I used to make it with my husband.

I love pizza. Even when it makes me sad. And I'm not going to stop making or eating pizza just because it makes me sad. But I can't help but thin, while making it, about the fact that my husband isn't here and probably never will be again. And its not bcause he's dead. And its not because of anything I did. Its because one day he woke up and decided he just didn't want to be there anymore. One day, he decided being able to walk into a bar, drink as much as he wants and take home anyone who's willing to go with him was worth more than having a wife and 4 kids at home who adore him.

So here I am, making pizza by myself. Neing sad and lonely. Or as lonely as you can bewith 4 children ALWAYS there. And I know it won't last forever. And I hope someday I'll meet someone new. But for now, here I am. . . the pizza is good btw :)

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