I'm all about living propose fully these days and to me, living purposefully is all about putting thought into everything you do. That sounds like a no brainer. I mean, we only have one life and none of us know how long we have, so who would want to waste their time, coasting through life thoughtlessly? You might be surprised by the answer. Coasting through life thoughtlessly is a habit and once started, can be a hard one to break away from. I, personally, spent at least 6 years of my life in this manner and to this day catch myself in the act of acting thoughtlessly. Now that doesn't mean I catch myself doing anything immoral or illegal, just that I catch myself doing without knowing why I am doing what I am doing and I think knowing the why is just as important as the what. If you don't take the time to know why you do what you do then it's much easier to fall down that slippery slope of doing what "everyone else" is doing, which is sometimes ok and sometimes not. But how do you know if you are on the ok path or the not ok path if you don't put any thought into what you are doing?
The same concept transcends into the parenting arena. It seems to me that the more calm, cool and collected parents are those that put a great deal of forethought into their parenting. It also seems to me that parents in general used to put a lot more forethought into their lives prior to having children. First if all, it seems to me that more people married prior to conception and spent time getting to know each other and their own views and their spouse's views on children and child rearing prior to conception. Then when they conceived, they read all the books about what to expect when you're expecting and what to expect the first 4 years and how to shepherd your child's heart. People cared enough to plan what their children would eat, where they would play, what schools they would go to. Everything typical was planned for ahead of time, that way when the child rearing began, they had the time and patience to think about the situation and decide the best course of action to take when something out of the ordinary came up. This might explain why parents had less problems with 12 kids 100 years ago than parents today have with 2. And this is something that is much easier to do before you have kids because, let's face it, kids have a way of making it hard to think clearly.
I, on the other hand, was never going to have kids. So I never thought about how to raise the kids I was never going to have. Then I had my oldest daughter and I was hooked. And 7 years and 3 kids later, I still want more. And 7 years and 3 kids later, I really wish I had done the research and figured out my opinions and stances on parenting. I'm doing it now, but I can really see how it would have been a lot easier to read and comprehend without having to stop every other word or sentence to mother.
To me, the key to purposeful living is knowing yourself, your policies, your authority and then taking all that knowledge and turning it into action. I would be doing a lot better at living purposefully if I didn't find myself falling into old habits of doing without thinking, but I am getting there slowly but surely. Another key is knowing the purpose of your tools and resources. The purpose of parenting books is to provide you with information to help you decide how you want to handle parenting. To help you make up your own mind. To enable you to parent purposefully, not mindlessly.
Showing posts with label living purposefully. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living purposefully. Show all posts
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The truth about gifts and other things
What can we say about gifts? Plenty. Especially following the biggest giving season of the year. Whether you got what you wanted, got what you hated or got nothing at all, chances are you have something to say about gifts. Well, here's my say. . .
First, let's discuss the purpose of gifts. In my opinion, there are several purposes, but any gift given without ulterior motives attached should be given for the purpose of bringing someone else joy. Keeping this in mind, gifts should be given to help make the receiver's life easier, provide them with something they need that they otherwise would not have, make them feel special.
Somewhere along the way, people started predetemining gifts, prescribing what gifts should be given when and which gifts were taboo, but I think the best gifts are those that show you that the other person knows you, knows your life, appreciates you and cares about you. The best gifts are gifts that will be used or cherished or both. This seems like a tall order to fill, but really, it isn't. People will tell you what they want or need if you care enough to listen and pay attention.
For example, I told my ex repeatedly that I did not particularly like or use jewelry and that if he was determined to get it for me, I really preferred silver and yet at nearly every gift giving occasion, I received jewelry and it was typically gold. It was nice that he remembered the occasion, but it always hurt that he never seemed to take my preferences into consideration when choosing gifts for me. And with small children who had broken jewelry in the past, it really only got used after he left when I sold it to support my kids. On the other hand, I received the gift of a mug last Christmas that I used daily until its mysterious disappearance which I noticed and mourned. This year, I received a mug from my daughter which I love twice as much because it was from her and because it filled that need that she had listened to me talk about and cared enough to remember.
First, let's discuss the purpose of gifts. In my opinion, there are several purposes, but any gift given without ulterior motives attached should be given for the purpose of bringing someone else joy. Keeping this in mind, gifts should be given to help make the receiver's life easier, provide them with something they need that they otherwise would not have, make them feel special.
Somewhere along the way, people started predetemining gifts, prescribing what gifts should be given when and which gifts were taboo, but I think the best gifts are those that show you that the other person knows you, knows your life, appreciates you and cares about you. The best gifts are gifts that will be used or cherished or both. This seems like a tall order to fill, but really, it isn't. People will tell you what they want or need if you care enough to listen and pay attention.
For example, I told my ex repeatedly that I did not particularly like or use jewelry and that if he was determined to get it for me, I really preferred silver and yet at nearly every gift giving occasion, I received jewelry and it was typically gold. It was nice that he remembered the occasion, but it always hurt that he never seemed to take my preferences into consideration when choosing gifts for me. And with small children who had broken jewelry in the past, it really only got used after he left when I sold it to support my kids. On the other hand, I received the gift of a mug last Christmas that I used daily until its mysterious disappearance which I noticed and mourned. This year, I received a mug from my daughter which I love twice as much because it was from her and because it filled that need that she had listened to me talk about and cared enough to remember.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sometimes it really sucks to be a single parent. There's a learning process you have to go through to change from married parenting style to single parenting style and I don't think I've completed that yet. I still find myself trying to play good cop, bad cop and when you're the only cop, you just end up looking like a wishy washy idiot that can't make up your mind and boy do kids know how to capitalize on people who can't make up their minds. They figure if you can't make it up on your own, then maybe they can make it up for you. And if they succeed even once, they will keep it up until you grow a pair and learn how to make up your own mind before you talk to them or until they get their way every time.
It can be an uncomfortable process for all involved and it takes a lot longer to establish your authority once you've shown an inability to make up your own mind and stick with it, but it's worth it. Households ruled by children with usurped authority function much less happily and harmoniously than households ruled by parents using their God given authority. It's had work to weed out the undesirable behaviors and teach your children right from wrong and it's never ending work, just like washing clothes and doing dishes, but just like with chores, if you teach your children to do it the right way, you can the trust them to take over and do it themselves.
But how do we teach our children right from wrong? How do we "make" them obey? The truth is, we can't. We can teach them right from wrong, but we can't make them learn it and we certainly can't force them to do it. Children are not marionettes. They do not have strings that, when pulled, produce results that can be predicted. Sometimes it seems like whenever I figure out something that works with my kids, I changes. They are like kaleidscopes only without the predictable patterns. It's confusing and frustrating and sometimes completely unfathomable to try to parent them because sometimes they make no sense whatsoever. It's easy to get frustrated and forget that sometimes we don't make sense to ourselves and we are adults and we can see inside our own heads. If we can't understand ourselves 100% of the time, then how on God's green earth can we ever expect to understand anyone else 100% of the time, especially someone else that is less developed and has had less time to figure out what they think and want and need.
It's a confusing and frustrating endeavor, being a parent. Not one that should be taken lightly or without thought and consideration and time spent in prayer. Not for the faint of heart or the impatient. Nor the faint of will.
I bet you think this is the part of the blog where I tell you the magic cure to save you time and effort and keep you from getting frustrated, but honestly I am still figuring it out myself and from what I've determined so far, there is no universal rule or shortcut. The most important thing is to love your child(ren) and act accordingly. Teach and lead them out of love. If you are angry or frustrated, take a step back, take a break and wait until you are no longer feeling angry or frustrated and then correct them out of love. Unless they are under 3. If they are under 3, scream into a pillow and correct them right away because if you wait they will have forgotten what they are being corrected for, which makes the correction pointless.
Take the time to get to know your kids, your self and thoughtfully and prayerfully consider every circumstance in consideration of the end goal, which in my case is raising children who will love God and desire to obey Him out of love.
In case you haven't guessed, this is another of my goals for this new year. To parent purposefully.
It can be an uncomfortable process for all involved and it takes a lot longer to establish your authority once you've shown an inability to make up your own mind and stick with it, but it's worth it. Households ruled by children with usurped authority function much less happily and harmoniously than households ruled by parents using their God given authority. It's had work to weed out the undesirable behaviors and teach your children right from wrong and it's never ending work, just like washing clothes and doing dishes, but just like with chores, if you teach your children to do it the right way, you can the trust them to take over and do it themselves.
But how do we teach our children right from wrong? How do we "make" them obey? The truth is, we can't. We can teach them right from wrong, but we can't make them learn it and we certainly can't force them to do it. Children are not marionettes. They do not have strings that, when pulled, produce results that can be predicted. Sometimes it seems like whenever I figure out something that works with my kids, I changes. They are like kaleidscopes only without the predictable patterns. It's confusing and frustrating and sometimes completely unfathomable to try to parent them because sometimes they make no sense whatsoever. It's easy to get frustrated and forget that sometimes we don't make sense to ourselves and we are adults and we can see inside our own heads. If we can't understand ourselves 100% of the time, then how on God's green earth can we ever expect to understand anyone else 100% of the time, especially someone else that is less developed and has had less time to figure out what they think and want and need.
It's a confusing and frustrating endeavor, being a parent. Not one that should be taken lightly or without thought and consideration and time spent in prayer. Not for the faint of heart or the impatient. Nor the faint of will.
I bet you think this is the part of the blog where I tell you the magic cure to save you time and effort and keep you from getting frustrated, but honestly I am still figuring it out myself and from what I've determined so far, there is no universal rule or shortcut. The most important thing is to love your child(ren) and act accordingly. Teach and lead them out of love. If you are angry or frustrated, take a step back, take a break and wait until you are no longer feeling angry or frustrated and then correct them out of love. Unless they are under 3. If they are under 3, scream into a pillow and correct them right away because if you wait they will have forgotten what they are being corrected for, which makes the correction pointless.
Take the time to get to know your kids, your self and thoughtfully and prayerfully consider every circumstance in consideration of the end goal, which in my case is raising children who will love God and desire to obey Him out of love.
In case you haven't guessed, this is another of my goals for this new year. To parent purposefully.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Why is it that watching someone else do something makes me want to do it? It is pathetic how suggestible people can be. And sometimes laughable. For example, while watching Julie and Julia, I was inspired to blog. Which I already do. See? Laughable.
Envy is such a silly thing. It starts off benignly and then takes over. It starts with the idea that someone else has it better than you. You see greener grass and assume that the entirety of their existence is better. The grass is greener because their everything is better, not because horses are constantly fertilizing it. We make such assumptions on such a regular basis that they become snap judgements that are automatically credible. Such is the pattern of life for many of us.
Once the thought has taken root, it is like a weed. If not pulled up and destroyed, it takes root, digs down and makes itself at home in your mind, popping up whenever it can. And then it takes over.
Well, that's all good and well. We all know how envy works. Now how do we get rid of it? Well, we can start by voicing our assumptions. It might go something like this:
You: "My what beautiful grass you have."
Neighbor: "Why thank you. Your yard smells wonderful."
You: "Doesn't your yard smell wonderful?"
Neighbor: "Heavens no. It smells like the horse manure that made it so green."
And then suddenly you no longer desire the greener grass because you learned about all the crap you would have to deal with to get grass that green.
Or we could skip a couple steps and fight the compulsion to assume that just because someone else's life has one aspect that appears better than ours, that their entire life is better and work with what we have been given rather than waste our time wishing we could work with what others have been given. Because we really have no idea what someone else is really working with unless we ask. And listen to the answer.
I thereby declare envy a ginormous waste of time and vow to do my best to stop letting it invade my thoughts, heart and life. There is one of my New Year's resolutions. Happy New Year!
Envy is such a silly thing. It starts off benignly and then takes over. It starts with the idea that someone else has it better than you. You see greener grass and assume that the entirety of their existence is better. The grass is greener because their everything is better, not because horses are constantly fertilizing it. We make such assumptions on such a regular basis that they become snap judgements that are automatically credible. Such is the pattern of life for many of us.
Once the thought has taken root, it is like a weed. If not pulled up and destroyed, it takes root, digs down and makes itself at home in your mind, popping up whenever it can. And then it takes over.
Well, that's all good and well. We all know how envy works. Now how do we get rid of it? Well, we can start by voicing our assumptions. It might go something like this:
You: "My what beautiful grass you have."
Neighbor: "Why thank you. Your yard smells wonderful."
You: "Doesn't your yard smell wonderful?"
Neighbor: "Heavens no. It smells like the horse manure that made it so green."
And then suddenly you no longer desire the greener grass because you learned about all the crap you would have to deal with to get grass that green.
Or we could skip a couple steps and fight the compulsion to assume that just because someone else's life has one aspect that appears better than ours, that their entire life is better and work with what we have been given rather than waste our time wishing we could work with what others have been given. Because we really have no idea what someone else is really working with unless we ask. And listen to the answer.
I thereby declare envy a ginormous waste of time and vow to do my best to stop letting it invade my thoughts, heart and life. There is one of my New Year's resolutions. Happy New Year!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
I don't post pictures of my kids on this blog because I don't want to. I love my kids. I'm very proud of my kids. I think they are adorable and fantastic and wonderful. I sometimes post pictures of my kids on FB, but I don't do it very often for several reasons:
1. I'm pretty sure I don't have any pedophiles on my friend list, but you never know and the idea of anyone getting aroused while looking at pics of my kids is really gross.
2. I'm selfish and I like to keep the cuteness to myself. I know I should share my kids more, but I tend to think if anyone *really* wants to see them, they can see them in real life and take their own pictures to remember the occasion by. And that includes their father. Yes its a bit petty, but I am not going to provide anyone who has not seen my kids in over a year by their own choice with photos to brag about them with. If you want to play daddy of the year, start off by visiting your kids at least 1 time in that year.
3. I'm not really that great of a photographer and don't want to post examples of my shoddy work.
4. There is usually stuff cluttering up my pictures. I do my best to keep our house clean, but with 7 kids and 3 adults running around, stuff gets on the floor, on the couch, on the table. . . everywhere. Rapidly. Without ceasing. Until everyone is asleep. At which time, pictures are no longer being taken. I do my best, but if I were to post pictures online for the world to see, I would want to screen out the pictures that show clutter/messes, which wouldn't leave that many pictures to post. And that would add stress to my life that I just don't want to deal with. It would be a small amount of stress, but stress has a tendency to accumulate quickly in my experience.
I am probably not going to post pictures of my kids in this blog. Ever. Because it is a public blog and anyone can see pictures of them in it and I don't feel comfortable posting pics of my kids that anyone can see. I want my blog to be open and genuine and engaging and I feel like I can accomplish this in my posts through my words. I am not willing to post pictures of every aspect of my life because that's just not me.
1. I'm pretty sure I don't have any pedophiles on my friend list, but you never know and the idea of anyone getting aroused while looking at pics of my kids is really gross.
2. I'm selfish and I like to keep the cuteness to myself. I know I should share my kids more, but I tend to think if anyone *really* wants to see them, they can see them in real life and take their own pictures to remember the occasion by. And that includes their father. Yes its a bit petty, but I am not going to provide anyone who has not seen my kids in over a year by their own choice with photos to brag about them with. If you want to play daddy of the year, start off by visiting your kids at least 1 time in that year.
3. I'm not really that great of a photographer and don't want to post examples of my shoddy work.
4. There is usually stuff cluttering up my pictures. I do my best to keep our house clean, but with 7 kids and 3 adults running around, stuff gets on the floor, on the couch, on the table. . . everywhere. Rapidly. Without ceasing. Until everyone is asleep. At which time, pictures are no longer being taken. I do my best, but if I were to post pictures online for the world to see, I would want to screen out the pictures that show clutter/messes, which wouldn't leave that many pictures to post. And that would add stress to my life that I just don't want to deal with. It would be a small amount of stress, but stress has a tendency to accumulate quickly in my experience.
I am probably not going to post pictures of my kids in this blog. Ever. Because it is a public blog and anyone can see pictures of them in it and I don't feel comfortable posting pics of my kids that anyone can see. I want my blog to be open and genuine and engaging and I feel like I can accomplish this in my posts through my words. I am not willing to post pictures of every aspect of my life because that's just not me.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I don't know who I am. There it is. The root of all my insecurity. When I got married, I was a baby. A bad-assed little 19 year old baby who was carrying a baby of her own, but a baby nonetheless when you consider how little I knew of myself and what I wanted out of life. 7 years later, I am still a baby. I guess that means my growth as an individual has been retarded.
To be honest, its mostly my fault because I chose to look to others for guidance on EVERYTHING. And when I made decisions, half the time I allowed my decisions to be changed by others. Research is time consuming and making up your mind is just too taxing with a million different options to choose from and its hard to stand up for your decisions when they aren't firmly made and others you respect and care for oppose them. Its far too easy to fall into the trap of "what if I make the wrong decision" and instead make no decision at all, or allow others to make your decisions so if something goes wrong you always have someone else to blame them on.
Well, that works fine when your married (minus the fact that you're setting your spouse up to be the one who always made the wrong decision), but it doesn't work nearly as well when you're a single parent. Doing 2 people's jobs and not getting paid for either, but being responsible for all. Its hard. Its time consuming. Its daunting. AND ITS WORTH IT.
I know I talk about being intentional a lot. Mostly, I am talking to me because its easy for me to fall into unintentionally doing stuff and I feel that that is wrong. That is something wrong I have been doing for a long time. And I am trying to break that habit. I don't think life is meant to be easy. I don't think its really the easy way out either. I think in the long run, we will be held responsible for all our decisions, whether intentional or passive. You can totally glide through life. I have done it. But the mainstream does not take me anywhere I want myself or my children to be and I've decided going against the tide is worth the work I have to put into it.
I am slowly but surely learning more about myself and my capabilities, more about what I want out of life, and more about God and I am going to continue down that path, walking intentionally every step of the way and remembering that I have 4 little girls shadowing my every move. Its a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it and I'm really glad that God decided that somebody got to be me.
To be honest, its mostly my fault because I chose to look to others for guidance on EVERYTHING. And when I made decisions, half the time I allowed my decisions to be changed by others. Research is time consuming and making up your mind is just too taxing with a million different options to choose from and its hard to stand up for your decisions when they aren't firmly made and others you respect and care for oppose them. Its far too easy to fall into the trap of "what if I make the wrong decision" and instead make no decision at all, or allow others to make your decisions so if something goes wrong you always have someone else to blame them on.
Well, that works fine when your married (minus the fact that you're setting your spouse up to be the one who always made the wrong decision), but it doesn't work nearly as well when you're a single parent. Doing 2 people's jobs and not getting paid for either, but being responsible for all. Its hard. Its time consuming. Its daunting. AND ITS WORTH IT.
I know I talk about being intentional a lot. Mostly, I am talking to me because its easy for me to fall into unintentionally doing stuff and I feel that that is wrong. That is something wrong I have been doing for a long time. And I am trying to break that habit. I don't think life is meant to be easy. I don't think its really the easy way out either. I think in the long run, we will be held responsible for all our decisions, whether intentional or passive. You can totally glide through life. I have done it. But the mainstream does not take me anywhere I want myself or my children to be and I've decided going against the tide is worth the work I have to put into it.
I am slowly but surely learning more about myself and my capabilities, more about what I want out of life, and more about God and I am going to continue down that path, walking intentionally every step of the way and remembering that I have 4 little girls shadowing my every move. Its a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it and I'm really glad that God decided that somebody got to be me.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
A letter to my 26 year old self. . .
Oh, you arrogant creature. Oh, you passive-aggressive creation of God. Are you really as foolish as you seem? Do you really think you are just a cosmic anomaly that developed over millions of years from nothing? How? How did something like you come from nothing? You can't make something from nothing, you know. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself. Or even better, sit for a million years and see if the nothing in your hands turns into something. . .
So if we've established that we cannot make something from nothing and the universe can't either, then there must be Someone who can make something from nothing. And He made us. Knowing exactly what we would be like, He made us. Knowing exactly what the world would be like when we came to be in it, He made us. He knit us together in our mothers bodies. And for what? To sit passive-aggressively (although mostly passively) on our bums, wondering why we are here, wondering how we got here, but never doing anything with the here because "we aren't supposed to be here"? I think not.
You were lovingly and purposefully made just the way you are for a reason, intended to be in this place at this time for a purpose. This is your season. Are you fulfilling your purpose? Are you doing what you do to the best of your ability? Or are you playing the waiting game, waiting for a different season - the ever elusive "right time"?
Well, stop waiting. Now is the only time you have and you are not guaranteed to have more. You are not guaranteed to ever reach what you perceive to be "the right time". Do not waste the now, the only time you do have, waiting for another time. There are things you can do now. So do it while you are waiting. Worship while you are waiting. Serve while you are waiting. Fulfill your function, whether that be employee, wife, mother, friend, child. . . whatever you are, be what you are to the best of your ability while you are waiting. Live purposefully and prosper. Fulfill your potential now. Because now is all you have.
STOP BEING WASTEFUL AND BE WHAT YOU WERE INTENDED TO BE. And if you don't know what that is, find out. And while you are finding out, do what you can to help yourself and those around you so that if you never find out, you did not waste your time and your potential. Sometimes its not the destination, but the journey, that is significant. God did not bring you to this place and time so that you could coast to the next place and time. He brought you here to surf, to skate, to be active, purposeful and useful, to journey to the next place and time. What do you think you are waiting for? Pick a direction and GO. DO. SERVE. JOURNEY. Whatever you do, do it on purpose. That way, when you get wherever you are going, you will know how you got there instead of continuing to say "how did I get here? I am not supposed to be here" and other such drivel.
Don't forget to smile :)
So if we've established that we cannot make something from nothing and the universe can't either, then there must be Someone who can make something from nothing. And He made us. Knowing exactly what we would be like, He made us. Knowing exactly what the world would be like when we came to be in it, He made us. He knit us together in our mothers bodies. And for what? To sit passive-aggressively (although mostly passively) on our bums, wondering why we are here, wondering how we got here, but never doing anything with the here because "we aren't supposed to be here"? I think not.
You were lovingly and purposefully made just the way you are for a reason, intended to be in this place at this time for a purpose. This is your season. Are you fulfilling your purpose? Are you doing what you do to the best of your ability? Or are you playing the waiting game, waiting for a different season - the ever elusive "right time"?
Well, stop waiting. Now is the only time you have and you are not guaranteed to have more. You are not guaranteed to ever reach what you perceive to be "the right time". Do not waste the now, the only time you do have, waiting for another time. There are things you can do now. So do it while you are waiting. Worship while you are waiting. Serve while you are waiting. Fulfill your function, whether that be employee, wife, mother, friend, child. . . whatever you are, be what you are to the best of your ability while you are waiting. Live purposefully and prosper. Fulfill your potential now. Because now is all you have.
STOP BEING WASTEFUL AND BE WHAT YOU WERE INTENDED TO BE. And if you don't know what that is, find out. And while you are finding out, do what you can to help yourself and those around you so that if you never find out, you did not waste your time and your potential. Sometimes its not the destination, but the journey, that is significant. God did not bring you to this place and time so that you could coast to the next place and time. He brought you here to surf, to skate, to be active, purposeful and useful, to journey to the next place and time. What do you think you are waiting for? Pick a direction and GO. DO. SERVE. JOURNEY. Whatever you do, do it on purpose. That way, when you get wherever you are going, you will know how you got there instead of continuing to say "how did I get here? I am not supposed to be here" and other such drivel.
Don't forget to smile :)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
No More Coasting. . .
I realized something yesterday. I am inherently lazy. Well, relatively speaking. I spend most days working from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep if you consider nursing working. But yesterday, I managed to get the house cleaner while watching my 4 kids and my 2 nieces with a headache than I get it when my sister and BIL are around to help and I feel fine. You would think having more adults around would result in getting more done and honestly, before yesterday I thought that it was having 7 kids around was what was holding me back from getting done all that needs to be done. Now, I think its me. I think when there are more adults around, I give myself permission not to do all that I can do. I allow myself not to do the best I can do. Instead, I coast along, doing less than I could otherwise do. I am limiting myself and ignoring my self-imposed limitations. Or, rather, I was. Now that I've acknowledged it, I am holding myself responsible for figuring out what to do to fix it. I don't want to be lazy. I don't want to coast along. I want to do my best because my kids and I deserve my best all the time. Not just when I'm the only adult around. So y'all are my witnesses. NO MORE COASTING for me.
Friday, March 4, 2011
You do what you can do
All to often, I get derailed, thinking about what isn't being done by someone else, what someone else needs to do, what I need help with, what I can't do myself and I expect someone else to come along and do. I think Matthew 7:5 answers my derailment best "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
I am a hypocrite? Really? Yup. See, concentrating on what someone else should be doing is not what I should do. So why should I complain (even just in my head/heart) about someone else not doing what they should do when I am doing the same? I shouldn't. Sometimes I do it anyways. And that's human. And that's normal. And that's being a hypocrite. I am a hypocrite. And I don't want to be.
While I do believe God expects us to help others, I don't think he expects us to help others at the expense of us failing to do what we should be doing. He has a plan for all of us. A purpose for all of us. A reason that we are here and a task for us to complete. We all have different tasks and some of our tasks can only be done with others' help, but I'm learning more and more every day that there is always something we can do. Even if its just preparation -- doing what I can do to get ready for what I will need to do when someone else does what only they can do.
Bottom line is, I should never just sit and think about what someone else isn't doing. Letting myself get derailed by someone else will NEVER be my purpose. There is always something I can do, even if it doesn't seem as important as what I could do if someone else did something else. If the path is not clear to do what seems like the most important thing to do, then that's a pretty clear indication that, while that task may be essential, it is not the task at hand at that moment.
So today, I am focusing on the task at hand. There are tasks that have been done and they are done and gone. There are tasks that are to come and they will come when it is their time. All I can do anything about is the task at hand right now and I am determined to live purposefully and do what I can do when I can do it because this might be the only chance I have to do it.
I am a hypocrite? Really? Yup. See, concentrating on what someone else should be doing is not what I should do. So why should I complain (even just in my head/heart) about someone else not doing what they should do when I am doing the same? I shouldn't. Sometimes I do it anyways. And that's human. And that's normal. And that's being a hypocrite. I am a hypocrite. And I don't want to be.
While I do believe God expects us to help others, I don't think he expects us to help others at the expense of us failing to do what we should be doing. He has a plan for all of us. A purpose for all of us. A reason that we are here and a task for us to complete. We all have different tasks and some of our tasks can only be done with others' help, but I'm learning more and more every day that there is always something we can do. Even if its just preparation -- doing what I can do to get ready for what I will need to do when someone else does what only they can do.
Bottom line is, I should never just sit and think about what someone else isn't doing. Letting myself get derailed by someone else will NEVER be my purpose. There is always something I can do, even if it doesn't seem as important as what I could do if someone else did something else. If the path is not clear to do what seems like the most important thing to do, then that's a pretty clear indication that, while that task may be essential, it is not the task at hand at that moment.
So today, I am focusing on the task at hand. There are tasks that have been done and they are done and gone. There are tasks that are to come and they will come when it is their time. All I can do anything about is the task at hand right now and I am determined to live purposefully and do what I can do when I can do it because this might be the only chance I have to do it.
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