Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Have you earned your hazmat certification today?

OK, so maybe cleaning poop out of the bathtub isn't considered by OSHA to be true hazmat clean up, but I think that's partially because being a mom isn't considered an "occupation". We aren't paid a wage that can be taxed by the government, so even though we deal with a variety of bodily fluids on a daily basis that might make a caregiver or even a nurse wrinkle their nose and even though we deal with every hazardous material that comes out of or is anywhere in the vicinity of our children, there are no hazmat classes out there to help us.

That's just fine. I mean, I don't really want the government imposing regulations regarding the proper way to fish poop out of the tub or the appropriate rag to use to soak up an improperly contained urination. We can deal with our hazardous materials all on our own. But I still think a little recognition would be nice -- some kind of certification, a medal, a ribbon, a piece of paper to hang on the wall saying that we are the official go to person for any hazardous or bodily materials that anyone in our household might come in contact with. Yes, we are the unofficial experts, but I think it would be nice to make it official. Not that it would make the messes any less frequent, but who knows? It just might change the attitude of the one mom clean up crew. . .

Of course, I may just be preoccupied with this because it is 11:30 am here, which means we have been up for maybe 2.5 hours, and already I have cleaned up no less than 3 pees, 1 bathtub poop, and a noseful of snot that needed constant maintenance. There have been tears, spit up, spit out, none of which were mine. Yet. And when I'm done cleaning up all that, I get to clean the bathroom -- again -- because there are 2 baths worth of water on the floor -- 1 pre-poop and 1 post-poop.

Oh, they joys of motherhood. . . So tell me, have you earned your hazmat certification today? How?

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